i dont want to say anything about the past months coz i was living in the abyss for every second. i doubt whether i have the strength or competence to start a new life, hence, we have the title "a doubtful fresh start". those days gave me much thinking on what life is. i am just moving on right now, not knowing much about the future, just mechanically moving without any inner motivation or urge to do something special and meaningful.
recently i find that I'm indispensable to foreign TV shows and movies. it puzzles me a lot why im so attracted by the way foreign people live their life. the admiration and aspiration for a better life as depicted in the shows and movies form a sharp contract to the disappointment brought by the ugly and plain truth that i am living in a developing and new born country who is still on her way to pursue prosperity and dignity. i hate this fact, but i cant do nothing. though knowing that i have to accept this fact, I'm still not reconciled.
life is a chaos now, and the emergence of order is deadly in need.
没有评论:
发表评论